Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Smiley Faces: The Silent Mood Killer

the smiley face symbols. yes you know what im referring to. if you've ever received a text message or chatted on some sort of instant messenger, then you've came across them. but when is it ok to use them and what exactly do they mean? well, have no fear, Johnny is here to tell you just exactly that!!!!

Symbols and their meanings

:) --smiley face....means a)they are happy b)they are so high they don't know where they are or what they just peed on

:( -- sad face....a)they're, um, sad b)they just ate something that didn't agree with them.

;)--winking face...a)you know what a wink is dont you? b)they have something in their eye c)they were in the middle of putting on make up when you interrupted, so they only have eye shadow on one eye

:D--big smile face (teeth showing)....a)creepy smile b)what odd 45 year old men use when talking to 14 year old girls before they are arrested

;;)--flirty eye blink face....a)what you use when you're flirting b)a face ive never ever seen

>:D<--hug face....a)when you want to give someone a hug b)a safe way to give someone a hug who often smells (on a strange side not coincidence, i get tons of these)

=(( -- broken heart face.....a)used when you have just broken up with someone b)used if you are emo


now that we've gone over some basic ones, im going to now tell you when its appropriate to use these. and to make it easier to tell, i have divided it into two groups, when its ok for girls to use them and when its ok for guys to use them.

ladies : they can use these any time they want. its completely acceptable. so girls, bring on those flapping flirty eyes!!!

guys: you can never ever use these under any circumstances. why? because its gay. its what girls do. so please don't do it ok?

there you have it. these are rules to follow and to live by. they are to never be broken. they will always be correct. the day someone tells me that these rules are wrong is the day that a major professional athlete pleads guilty to dog fighting. oh wait....... :((

1 comment:

Trevor Franklin said...

I could really use your help here. When I'm chatting with the ladies online, I never know how to express emotion. For example, when I type "haha" it feels forced and maybe even sarcastic. When I say "lol" it sounds like I'm 13. But when I use the smiley faces, I feel, well, kind of gay. There must be something out there for me! I've been listening to your radio show since I was 10, and I would really value your opinion.